


Giving Over

by queenmidalah



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 15:59:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenmidalah/pseuds/queenmidalah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky asks Jemma to make a promise to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giving Over

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr prompt: "Promise me you'll be gentle." jemma x bucky

“Promise me you’ll be gentle…”

Jemma Simmons looked up from the tray in front of her to look at James Buchanan Barnes, also known as Bucky, but even more recently as the Winter Soldier. For a man who had spent the last seventy odd years as Hydra’s most deadly assassin, the words were a shock to the biochemist.

Yet looking at the man, it was obvious that there he was much more fragile than anyone really acknowledged because of his past. She had noticed that over the past few weeks of working with him, monitoring him.

“I’m always gentle,” Jemma said. She looked down at her tray again.

“That’s not what I meant,” Bucky said.

That had Jemma pausing again. Her eyes wanted to close, her throat tightening. During the weeks of working with Bucky and monitoring him, she’d come to admire him. It would take a blind person to not find the man attractive, but she felt more. She realized she had quickly developed a crush on him and it had given way to something deeper. 

At their last meeting a week ago, she had given into the attraction and pressed her lips to his. Initially he had responded before freezing and yanking himself away from her. There had been such steel in his stance and face that she knew she had made a horrible mistake. Too embarrassed to face what she had done, another scientist monitored him for the past week until Jemma realized she had to be much more professional and took her duties back on.

“I shouldn’t--,” Jemma started, cursing inwardly as her voice cracked.

“I feel the same,” Bucky said quickly, cutting off her words.

Jemma’s head jerked up, her forehead puckered and her nose wrinkled. “What?”

Bucky hopped off the medical table he’d been sitting on since she walked into the room. His normal spot over the past few months while she took initial blood samples and tested him before they moved to other things during their time together.

“I… I shouldn’t have reacted that way,” Bucky said, stepping up to her. “You… you startled me.” He hated the hesitancy in his voice. He never remembered being this unsure with women before everything that was done to him. Back when he was fully human and he remembered who he was. Before he became the Winter Soldier.

“I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry for…” Jemma stuttered, her scientific tools forgotten as she started to wring her hands unconsciously.

“No…” Bucky said. His human hand lifted and cupped her cheek gently. It was a move born of instinct as memories from his life as Bucky Barnes came back. It was so natural that it made him giddy. This woman… he brought out everything natural, everything human within. This woman made him think that there was actually hope of redemption for all he had done as the Winter Soldier. This woman gave him hope that Bucky the man, and Bucky the assassin could be one person; that he could live with the memories of both lives but not let the regrets from one rule him.

“Don’t apologize,” Bucky finally continued. “I…” He stroked her cheek, trying to find the right words.

“If this were seventy years ago, I wouldn’t be struggling with this as much as I am,” Bucky admitted. “I had a confidence with women… probably an overconfidence if you asked Steve.”

Jemma couldn’t help but smile. Bucky’s words were flowing easily, as if memories were coming without him even realizing. It was progress, and she felt some pride because it seemed to be her presence that was serving as a catalyst. It wasn’t the first time and she hoped it wouldn’t be the last.

“But I’m not that man anymore,” Bucky admitted. “There are times when I feel… unworthy of things. Because of what I did…”

“You were brainwashed!” Jemma interrupted. “You had no memories of who you were, you can’t be--.” Bucky’s finger on her lips stopped the tirade.

“I can,” he said. “But for whatever reason I am being given a chance to prove that I can be both Bucky and the Winter Soldier in one person. It wasn’t…” He swallowed some, his hand moving from her face to take both of her hands. He hesitated before his metal hand moved to cup her hands with his human hand, shifting so his metal hand supported hers as his human hand covered them, allowing his thumb to stroke her smooth skin.

“It wasn’t until that moment when you kissed me that I realized I could be both,” Bucky said. “But I’ve been one for so long that I… I don’t know how to be the other… and that scares me.”

Jemma felt her throat tighten. She curled the fingers of one hand around his metal hand, extracting her other hand to reach up and cup his cheek this time, letting her thumb stroke along the skin and stubble.

“You are a good man, and we knew it would take time to integrate the two,” Jemma said. “To bring back the memories of who you were before Hydra.”

“Don’t go all scientist on me, Jemma,” Bucky said, his voice a mere whisper. “This is not about Doctor Simmons and Patient Barnes.”

A soft smile graced her features. “You’re right,” she said, her own voice a whisper. “This is about Jemma and Bucky.” She stepped closer.

“I’m falling in love with you, Bucky Barnes,” Jemma said. “I promise to be gentle with your heart, if you promise to be gentle with mine.”

“I promise with everything that I am,” Bucky said. The corner of his lips turned up in a way that was so reminiscent of who he was. He carefully lowered his head, pressing his forehead to Jemma’s.

This scene is what Steve Rogers observed through the lab’s window. It brought a soft smile to his own face, because this was the Bucky he remembered. This was the Bucky he knew was still beneath the assassin. He wouldn’t disturb the woman that he had come to call a friend since his own resurrection and the man he considered a brother. They deserved their time together and he wouldn’t disturb that or let anyone else do so either.


End file.
